ALTERNATIVES TO "OPENING A CAN O' WHUPASS" FOR THE LESS CONFRONTATIONALLY INCLINED
by Ian Carey
Unsnapping a Purse o' Politeness
Decanting a Carafe o' Contrition
Unzipping a Fanny Pack o' Friendliness
Sipping a Demitasse o' Diplomacy
Refrigerating the Tupperware o' Temperance
Unscrewing a Thermos o' Thoughtfulness
Gently Folding a Napkin o' Negotiation
Checking the Date on a Carton o' Caution
Serving an Aperitif o' Avoidance
Lightly Greasing a Ramekin o' Retreat
Applying a Beechwood Veneer to a Hutch o' Hiding
Cleaning out a Drawer o' Disappearance
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